Simply put, do guys like stockings and tights? 
- Belinda, New Paltz, NY
 

 

Not so simply put: It depends. A quick search of the Internet under “stockings and tights” will reveal a virtual international clubhouse of male fans devoted to all manner of leg covering. Try “mukluks with miniskirts” and see what happens. But I digress. If you’re talking those heavy, knitted tights that look really itchy to touch: Yuck, I say, on behalf of all of us. They’re designed to cover you up (and keep you warm, I suppose) – so why not go all the way and cover them up, too. Tights and a short skirt, however, or stockings along the Bettie Page model are universally (and obviously) enjoyed.

In the end, what we want to see when you wear stockings and tights are your legs. If they flatter you and your legs – by all means – pull them on.
 

Lingerie, you ask? YES is the answer. I know of no man who wouldn’t agree that women should wear more lingerie. And shopping for it together is a blast, believe me. It's important to remember, however, that this trip is not like picking out new tile for the bathroom – it is an opportunity for seduction. Be prepared to try on some things that he’d like to see on you. Be adventurous. Take some risks. Definitely show him a little something while he’s there with you (although not too much, right?) And go at least halfway toward satisfying his fantasies. Here's something that really drives us wild... wear some of the best stuff right out of the store and then tease us with a few choice glimpses on the way home. Take my advice and I promise, you will see one very happy man driving very quickly.

 

One last thing...before you leave the store, make sure he pays for it.

 

Q. When a girl makes eye contact should she wait for him to walk over? I recently talked to a guy who said he is turned off by women who approach him.
 - Beth, New York, NY

 
A. Maybe that kind of advice makes sense in Mr. Sad Sack’s Lonelyhearts Club, but put plain and simple: He’s very wrong. Men are incredibly encouraged by women unafraid to start up a conversation. It takes the pressure off us having to always make the first move and risk being mocked by our buddies. In fact, just saying hello makes us feel like we’ve done something right. Go ahead and flirt. Invite seduction. Challenge him, have fun, and move on if he’s too intimidated. You have enormous power to attract just by moving closer – why not use it?

 

Q. What are some sure fire signs that a guy is ready to take the big leap into living together or even marriage?
- Vicky, Warren, MI
 

A. If you’re at the stage in a relationship where you’re regularly picking his underwear off the floor, he’s probably already living with you, which is a sure fire sign that you should start asking for rent money.

Moving on to marriage, if he brings up the subject in the positive – the guy is ready – very ready. Does he fix stuff in the house? That’s good. Does he actually remodel it? Even better. Does he voluntarily attend open houses, take you to housewares stores or consult your calendar before making plans? These are all solid gold signs of nesting behavior in the male species. You may now declare open season on marriage discussions. If, however, you observe such behavior in your boyfriend, yet he’s still reticent to talk marriage, he is either:

1.    already well into the buying-you-a-ring/planning-where-he’ll-propose stage

2.    already married to someone else

3.    still dealing with his mommy issues

Don’t worry, it’s probably reason #1.

 

 

A:   From the tone of your question, Mary, I’m wondering if he isn’t a bit intimidated. I should think that if he were the one who asked you out in the first place, he would have had an idea of what he wanted to do on the first date. Did you reject his ideas out of turn?

There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to inquire what you might like to do or eat – especially if you don’t know each other. If, however, after a few dates he continually defers to you to make the call he’s either:

a.   concerned you won’t like his choices

b.   a wimp

c.   both

If you like him, despite his lack of creative input, take a moment to ask him about it. Tell him that you would like to hear his thoughts on the matter – and that you will agree to join him. You never know…perhaps he’s been sitting on a vast wellspring of activities – and now that you have made it clear you’re willing to hear them – a flood of exciting possibilities will be unleashed onto your calendar(s).

 

A: Should he pay? Yes. Why should he pay? Because.

 

 

 

A: How seriously a guy tries to guess your age is in direct proportion to how much hair he’s lost on his head.

Most men are highly visual, which probably stems from our ancient caveman hunting skills – or too much TV watching. The good news is: we’re not going to start guessing your age the first moment we see you. But like it or not, we do pay attention to what we see. This fact, however, should not lead women to assume that they should try to fool us into thinking they are a certain “desirable age.”

If you approach a date or meeting with the confidence that you’re going to have a great time; that you’re there to entertain and be entertained; that you look your best by acting like yourself (and not as someone else) – any issue you (or he) may have about your age is bound to become less important. In fact, men respond more enthusiastically to a woman who proves she can genuinely have a good time no matter what her age.

- Kristen, Schenectady, NY

 

A: Assuming you didn’t lie (too much) on your online profile, you should look and dress for the role of you. So if you're the folksy chick who sells her own homespun alpaca hats at Burning Man – I doubt he's expecting to see you wearing high heels. Are you a principal at your law firm who also likes to rock climb on the weekends? I’d like to see how those two parts of your life reconcile themselves on your bod. 

Try to wear at least one thing that tells a story. One item that invites questions so that you can tell him more about you (that he hasn’t already fantasized about). It could be a piece of jewelry, a tattoo, a short skirt and hiking boots…

And if you’re wondering whether you should wear something “sexy,” well, we all want to see "sexy." But considering how many people confuse sexy with trashy – on a first date it pays to show it off in moderation. Apply that one storytelling item of clothing to focus on the body part (ankle, shoulder, neck, etc) you know to be most worthy of a retelling.