Grumble:
You hate spending the $7 just to get one pair of pants cleaned.  I feel you.  But, you have to spend the dough to get those gorgeous crepe slacks dry cleaned; otherwise, they’ll get all crapped up rendering them utterly unfashionable.  This dilemma begs the question:  why spend so much money on your clothing if you’re not going to take care of it… Boy, it seems as if your Mother just showed up.  Nag, nag, nag.

Goodness:
You’ve decided it IS in fact worth the money to dry clean those gorgeous trousers, but now you just can’t bear the thought of all of the senseless plastic used in the packaging of said dry cleaning.  Good girl!

Let’s think about it for a minute. 

Your clothing gets magically cleaned, then hung up on the cleaner’s clean carousel, then put into your clean car and then into your clean closet.  Does it REALLY need a hermitically sealed plastic bag for the trip home from the C-L-E-A-N-E-R-S?  I thought not.  And so did Dry Greening, my personal favorite NON-plastic, dry cleaning bag.

Go:
Buy your own Dry Greening bag for $4.99!  $4.99, people!  Come on, how can you NOT?!  While I don’t own 2 of them (yet!), here’s what I recommend you do.  Keep one bag in your closet to collect all of your dry cleaning items.  Then, when full take it to the cleaners and leave it with them to cover up those duds once they’re cleaned.  While you’re there dropping off the dirty stuff, pick up the clean stuff which is already living in your other Dry Greening bag.  Voila.  You're a genius.

I promise you that people will begin to ask about your bag thus starting a dry cleaning (er, greening) revolution, in your area.  Oh, and while you’re at it, return those wire hangers to the dry cleaners, so they can reuse them.  As Mommy Dearest said, “No more wire hangers!” and as Tracy Metro said, “No more plastic bags!”


Tracy Metro (and yes, Metro IS her real name!) is a TV host who was eco-chic before eco and chic were even hyphenated! Wanna learn more about this eco-conut? Grab a fare card and go for a ride at www.tracymetro.com
 

Grumble:
You drink like a fish and then happily toss those beer bottles into the recycling bin because no matter what they say, your habit actually DOES care about the planet.  Way to go, lady!  I like your recycling moxie, but how about turning those empties into some kick-ass jewelry so you can show the world how committed you are (and when I say committed, I’m not talking about that stint in Bellevue).

Goodness:
Now, I’m not insinuating you should actually DO anything other than (continue to drink and) purchase some of the hottest eco-jewelry out there.  Let’s not get crazy.  You, lift a finger?  Come-come, you’re smarter than that now that you're aware of Smart Glass Jewelry.

Go:
As Kathleen Plate (owner/designer) of Smart Glass says, “you won’t believe how beautiful a beer bottle can be.”  I am SURE your male counterpart has uttered those words more than a few times over the years, and now you can utter them right back at him as you don…

Your new danglers perhaps made from Dos Equis?  By the by, I don't own any of the danglers, but how gorgeous will the blue earrings look with your sweet tan?

Or even your new bracelets perhaps made from Boddington?  By the by, tragically I do not own the bangles but am MAD for them!  How Wonderwoman bad A-S-S are they?! 

Lastly, your new necklace perhaps made from New Castle?  By the by, I don't own any of the necklaces, but how killer is it that some of the glass has writing on it?

So, what's the moral of the story?  Drink up, let Kathleen make 'em up so you can buy 'em up which is easy to do since most items are under 100 bucks!!!

Tracy Metro (and yes, Metro IS her real name!) is a TV host who was eco-chic before eco and chic were even hyphenated! Wanna learn more about this eco-conut? Grab a fare card and go for a ride at www.tracymetro.com

 

Grumble:
With the sudden celebrity deaths over the last week, it’s just good to be alive and well, huh?!? Suddenly, that cold sore, those backed up bills and the annoying flat tire seems awfully trite because THANKFULLY you’re above ground.

Goodness:
With that, here are a few great, green products that will help you channel your inner Farah Fawcett, Billy Mays and Michael Jackson.  We’ll miss you all… especially the unintelligible David Letterman interviews, the overly loud selling of basic cleaning solutions and… well, the nose.

Go:
In honor of Farah Fawcett, here are 3 FAB 70s style headscarves in case you’re having a bad hair day (or worse, chemo!)   Lym & D’s website isn’t up quite yet, but you CAN buy these scarves at Fred Segal in Santa Monica, CA though they are quite pricey at $265 each.  Paying homage to the late, great Farah ain’t cheap, but Charlie says you’re worth it, angel.

In honor of Billy Mays (yeah, I included him in here.  Sue me!)  Here are a few green cleaning products that not only do I actually use, but ones that I really like!  Eco-Me’s cleaning solution is perhaps the B-E-S-T smelling cleaning product out there.  In fact, my house currently wafts with their yummy aroma.  If you’re just getting into chemical free cleaning products, this is a great way to start because they provide the components for you to make your own solutions.  Pick up their  Eco-Me Home Kit for $26 and get cleaning!

Here’s what’s in the kit:
Eco-Me All Purpose Spray Cleaner
Eco-Me Wood Polish Spray Cleaner
Eco-Me Scrub Cleanser

** They also have personal care products though I've never tried them... well, not yet at least!

For that pile of laundry that’s mounting in the corner, try getting rid of your liquid detergent and pick up an Official Greenwash Ball.  You toss the ball in the washing machine and simply add water!  No chemicals, no nothing!  I feel like I’m doing good for the planet, but still have some regular old detergent on hand when my duds are uber dirty.  You can pick this ball up all over the place such as Bed, Bath & Beyond, Whole Foods and of course the Official Greenwash Ball’s site.

In honor of my first crush, Michael Jackson (that was before I knew he was gay!), I’d like to draw attention to our (intact) noses.  People, the nose is the body’s filter for all things bad (and I’m not just talking about the funny stuff from the 80s that people put up their noses!).  Ever come home from a run in the city and blow your nose only to find gobs of black shoot in the tissue?  I rest my case.  It’s dirty up there and deserves to be clean as a whistle!

So, why not treat the nose right and do a little preemptive clean out with the neti pot.  For $13, you can buy your very out neti pot at iherb.com.  As you can clean out your nasal passageway you can tell all those icky bits to "Beat It!"


Tracy Metro (and yes, Metro IS her real name!) is a TV host who was eco-chic before eco and chic were even hyphenated! Wanna learn more about this eco-conut? Grab a fare card and go for a ride at www.tracymetro.com

 

Grumble:

You feel like a swine flu infected -- well, swine.  You're a sniffly, achey, feverish and just plain grody mess.  If only you could keep "down," Grandma Gerty's chicken soup...

But, since you can't (and Grandma Gerty went out when with the Reagan administration), you'll have to suffer through with Auntie Tracy's flu remedy.  Besides, mine has way fewer calories!

Goodness:

Immediately recruit a loved one to A) provide extreme amounts of sympathy (does not need to be real), and  B) pamper you as if you were the Queen of Sheeba.

Go:

Instruct your recruit to rub your little piggies with some Perfect Organics organic mint chocolate or hazelnut coffee shea butter (sounds good enough to eat, I know!).  You'll feel cared for without the concern of infecting them with your nastiness. 

On the other hand, if wallowing in your own funk is more your style, then have your honey run you a hot bath with Perfect Organics' grapefruit, lavender, coconut or mandarin, rose, coconut bath therapy.  While the real live shrink is not included with the bath therapy, if your cohort hangs with you while you soak, you'll feel much better.  Guaranteed.

As a last resort, if even YOU can't stand the sight of your tissue chaffed Rudolph nose, perhaps you ought to consider matching your cheeks and lips to your red nose with Perfect Organics vegan lip and cheek shimmer. 

 Why?  Because vanity doesn't dig on swine.

 Tracy Metro (and yes, Metro IS her real name!) is a TV host who was eco-chic before eco and chic were even hyphenated! Wanna learn more about this eco-conut? Grab a fare card and go for a ride at www.tracymetro.com

Grumble:
I’m beginning to see a correlation between Mother Nature and your actual Mother!  Indulge me for a moment.

Mother nature brought your ass into this world (or so some would believe)… and your Momma did, too!  Mother Nature often controls what you can do, where you can go… and Mommy Dearest does, too!  Mother Nature’s sunlight and cock-a-doodle-do-ing is your alarm clock in the morning… and your Mummy hollering (from down the hall) for you to wake your ass up before you miss the school bus is your alarm clock, too!

I rest my case.  Mother Nature and your Mother are forever intertwined.

Goodness:
Do some good for the planet this Earth Day (which is EVERY day) and for your Mother!   Pick up the phone and call her… it wouldn’t kill you to take a few minutes and tell her you love her.  Then, after she’s done nosing around in your life, tell her you’ve dedicated a tree to honor her, your Mother(nature). 

She’ll sniffle…  you’ll get brownie points -- which will come back in spades when your birthday rolls around.

Go:
Cock-a-doodle-do yourself over to TreerPeople.org and, for as little at 25 bucks, you will get a certificate to frame that says you’re a good little sapling.

Now, if you really want to bond with Mother Nature, GET INVOLVED with Tree People's tree plantings, tree care events or simply volunteer your time with the outreach team.

Sometimes it just feels good to get your hands dirty.

Tracy Metro (and yes, Metro IS her real name!) is a TV host who was eco-chic before eco and chic were even hyphenated! Wanna learn more about this eco-conut? Grab a fare card and go for a ride at www.tracymetro.com

 

Grumble:
Ever feel like you’ve come to the end of the Internet?  You’ve shopped all darn day and seen the same stuff again and again and again; nothing’s inspiring and everything a bore.  I ask: where did all the creativity go, Bill Gates?

Grumble:
Let’s face it, holiday shopping is a pain in the tuchas (for all of you non-Yiddish speakers out there: butt, tush, arse, hiney, rear). Honestly, it just doesn’t matter if you’re shopping for eco-gifts or trying to be economical with your shopping; it’s all stressful and can make this part of the year loathsome for many.    What? Me -- hate shopping? Someone quick… check my temperature!