Making Plans

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month – and every time we make arrangements to get together he asks me what I want to do or where we should go. Why is he asking me all the time? Call me old-fashioned, but I think a man should know what he wants to do and where to take me. Am I crazy?
- Mary, Coldwell, NJ

A: From the tone of your question, Mary, I’m wondering if he isn’t a bit intimidated. I should think that if he were the one who asked you out in the first place, he would have had an idea of what he wanted to do on the first date. Did you reject his ideas out of turn?

There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to inquire what you might like to do or eat – especially if you don’t know each other. If, however, after a few dates he continually defers to you to make the call he’s either:
a. concerned you won’t like his choices
b. a wimp
c. both

If you like him, despite his lack of creative input, take a moment to ask him about it. Tell him that you would like to hear his thoughts on the matter – and that you will agree to join him. You never know…perhaps he’s been sitting on a vast wellspring of activities – and now that you have made it clear you’re willing to hear them – a flood of exciting possibilities will be unleashed onto your calendar(s).