Posts Tagged ‘ask alison’

Dress for son’s wedding

Ask Alison:

Hey Alison! Been keeping up with you, girl! So cool how many people and places you are charming with your sweet self. You are rockin’ it! Way to go. My oldest son is getting married in July, outside at a country club. It is a 4pm ceremony.
As you might recall, the ladies are large! I have dropped from a size 22 down to a 16 since I saw you last, but am still on the heavy side. What would you suggest? And what about a hat? I so appreciate any ideas!

-Becky, Keystone Heights, Fl

Answer:

Hey Becky,
Outside in July means there will be heat and humidity to deal with, especially if we’re talking about Florida. If indeed the country club is in Florida then I would suggest skipping the hat unless it’s lightweight, medium to wide brimmed raffia in a pale woven color. Then you can add a ribbon or flower of your choice to match with your dress. While we’re still letting thoughts of Kate and William dance in our heads remember that affair was held in a cool interior and most women dressed in conservative suits. The hats were fun, but most of the outfits were a bit dull. Most important is to choose the dress and you can think about a hat later since depending how long the ceremony runs it can lead to a hot, perspiring mess under the hat and flattened hair.

Ask Alison:

I need help finding a white bandeau to wear with a new maxi dress this summer.
-Laura (New York City)

Answer:

Laura,
So simple. If you feel your maxi is too low cut and you need a little coverage and perhaps some oomph of support try these simple, but still pretty bandeau tops. And you’ll avoid the uni-boob effect.

Thanks, Alison

DKNY Classic Beauty lace trimmed bandeau
Nordstrom.com, $28

White lace bandeau
Topshop.com, $26

Free People Scalloped lace bandeau
Zappos.com, $28

Barely There Bandini-this style comes in white and the straps easily hide next to the bandini.
BarelyThere.com, 2 for $26

Have a question for Ali? Send to: Ali@alionthego.com

Ask Alison–Question: While I absolutely love my champagne colored wedding dress, it is a bit heavy and I’ve begun to wonder how I’m going to get through the day and night in it. I was so happy to find a beautiful and affordable dress, but do I sacrifice a night of dancing to still look pretty in my wedding dress?  Any advice?
-Randi (Los Angeles)

Answer: Don’t fret!  Haven’t you heard of a change of wardrobe?  Celebrities do it all time for awards shows and performances so why not take a cue from their style page. I had my glorious Lloyd Klein couture gown for the wedding, the amazing photos and through the first dance and meal. THEN, it was time for the party to begin and I made a dress change.  I had a short Valentino dress that was similar to my pink/peach wedding gown.  This is not the time to throw on just any cocktail dress and definitely not an LBD. It would be ideal to continue the elegant look of your wedding with a dress that is within the same hues of your gown yet shorter, lighter and easier to move in, particularly for the dance floor. Have a beautiful day and hit the dance floor and cut the cake in one of these under $400 options, many of them I found through thefind.com.

Embroidered strapless flowing dress by Sue Wong-$368
Bloomingdales.com and SueWong.com

Embroidered mid-driff dress with organza petal skirt by Sue Wong-$388
Bloomingdales.com

Strapless chiffon dress by ABS-$330
Bloomingdales.com

Ivory Rosette Dress by Blush-$238
SimplyDresses.com

Lace strapless dress by Alecon, $280
Amazing-Wedding-Dress.com

A-line lace dress by Alecon, $279
Amazing-Wedding-Dress.com

Question: How can we tactfully encourage my daughter, Mary’s soon to be FMIL and SIL to have their hair & make-up done for photos & the wedding? They normally like “the natural look”. I have set up hairdresser and make-up to come to the bridal suite to specifically work on the close relatives. Also, how do I approach payment for themselves?
-Donna, NY

Alison: Awkward is right! First let me ease some of your concern by saying that the majority of posed wedding photos with family are full length which means that you won’t be able to see up close whether makeup is good or not. Instead it will just come across whether they are attractive or not.  And that’s for others to judge. Also, when it comes to choosing photos that will be printed larger to be displayed in frames in your daughter’s home with her husband, I guarantee that besides one or two photos with family or bridesmaids/groomsmen the prints that she will choose will be her favorites of just her and her husband.  You may end up choosing a few photos to display in your home as well, but again you’ll choose the prints that have you and your daughter looking best because let’s be honest-that’s what’s most important to you. As for all the photos that end up in the album, you and your daughter will look at it often once it’s completed, but after friends have seen it when they happen to be at the house, the excitement will die down and then it will be brought out just once in a while. Again, it’s the photos that are hung on the walls or in frames on display that will be seen and those will likely be just bride and groom.

So I hope that helps diminish some of the wedding stress.

Next is the phone call or face to face with the in-law members you’d like to get H & M done.  The best way to approach these women is to join them in on the excitement of the wedding preparations.  Example:  “Hi Jane, we’re so excited about Mary’s upcoming wedding so she and I wanted to join you and your mom in on the beauty of that day. She and the bridesmaids are getting their H & M done and we were able to get a great deal on all of us getting similar treatment. I don’t know about you, but I’m no pro with a makeup brush so when they offered a deal to help us look good in the photos I thought it was a great idea. And I know Mary wants us all to join in on the glamour part of the day. The H & M team quoted me a price of $$ per person. I wish I could pay for all of us and I know that H & M can be pricey, but we’d love for you to be with us when we’re all getting ready. A true girl, ok some of older broads, bonding experience. I’ll bring the champagne and we can sip the bubbly while we get ready.

Donna, while you want everyone to look fabulous, this invite you offer to the in-law ladies should focus on the bonding time while prepping and the glamour that we all don’t get a chance to partake in regularly.  If they say yes, you must include them in the group experience or else you face backlash of the having them feel like the ugly stepsister.

So what happens if they balk at the price? You’re next step is with grace and tact to let them know you’d like to pay half the price to have them be a part of it. (And that means more money out of your pocket.) You can’t pressure them to pay or get H & M done if they don’t want to do it. And nobody wants an uncomfortable wedding day. And while you may not care what they say behind your back it will be tense if you pressure them.  So if they say no, then with a smile say, “We’ll miss you and your mom behind the scenes, but look forward to us all looking fabulous for the photos.” I’m sure they’ll get the hint and hopefully take a little more time getting ready for Mary’s wedding.

Making Plans

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month – and every time we make arrangements to get together he asks me what I want to do or where we should go. Why is he asking me all the time? Call me old-fashioned, but I think a man should know what he wants to do and where to take me. Am I crazy?
- Mary, Coldwell, NJ

A: From the tone of your question, Mary, I’m wondering if he isn’t a bit intimidated. I should think that if he were the one who asked you out in the first place, he would have had an idea of what he wanted to do on the first date. Did you reject his ideas out of turn?

There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to inquire what you might like to do or eat – especially if you don’t know each other. If, however, after a few dates he continually defers to you to make the call he’s either:
a. concerned you won’t like his choices
b. a wimp
c. both

If you like him, despite his lack of creative input, take a moment to ask him about it. Tell him that you would like to hear his thoughts on the matter – and that you will agree to join him. You never know…perhaps he’s been sitting on a vast wellspring of activities – and now that you have made it clear you’re willing to hear them – a flood of exciting possibilities will be unleashed onto your calendar(s).

Have a question of your own to ask our guy? Send it to Marcello at askourguy@alionthego.com

Ready to Make the Big Leap?

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. What are some sure fire signs that a guy is ready to take the big leap into living together or even marriage?
- Vicky, Warren, MI

A. If you’re at the stage in a relationship where you’re regularly picking his underwear off the floor, he’s probably already living with you, which is a sure fire sign that you should start asking for rent money.

Moving on to marriage, if he brings up the subject in the positive – the guy is ready – very ready. Does he fix stuff in the house? That’s good. Does he actually remodel it? Even better. Does he voluntarily attend open houses, take you to housewares stores or consult your calendar before making plans? These are all solid gold signs of nesting behavior in the male species. You may now declare open season on marriage discussions. If, however, you observe such behavior in your boyfriend, yet he’s still reticent to talk marriage, he is either:

1. already well into the buying-you-a-ring/planning-where-he’ll-propose stage

2. already married to someone else

3. still dealing with his mommy issues

Don’t worry, it’s probably reason #1.

Go Ahead and Cut It

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. I really want to cut off my hair, but my boyfriend loves it long. Why are guys obsessed with long hair? And, how can I convince him that I’ll still look cute with a pixie do?
- Lady Godiva, Irvine, CA

A. Clearly your boyfriend is no Hemingway. Yes, the legendary man’s man was crazy for women with short hair, and he often encouraged his long-haired ladies to cut it all off. I dated several women who did the same, and they all found the change empowering. Perhaps this is what disturbs some men…when their woman shears her long locks, she sheds one of the most classic identifiers of femininity and becomes…a boy?

Nonsense. When a woman gets a pixie cut – it emphasizes her face, her eyes, her neck and even her body. Do you remember Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies? (wow!) No wonder so many women find a short cut empowering – and it sounds like you’re ready for the transformation.

I’m guessing you’ve already shown him photos of famous short-haired beauties such as Rihanna, Halle Berry, Jean Seberg (see above photo) and, of course, Louise Brooks. He’s still not convinced? Then there’s probably only one way to prove it – and that’s to go ahead and cut it. Do it. Prove him wrong and please yourself.

Q. When do I need to buy maternity clothes?

Alison: That is one of the first questions many women ask after discovering they are pregnant. Many moms-to-be can wear their normal clothes throughout their first trimester. If this is not your first pregnancy, you may need maternity clothes earlier.

If you unbutton the top button of your jeans or pants when you sit down, it is time for maternity pants. You can start out by purchasing a Bella Band to allow you to wear your regular pants or jeans longer. If your tummy is starting to peek out of the bottom of your tops, it is time for a longer top. It is important to remember that buying comfortable clothes sooner rather than later will make buying new clothes worth your money.

You can also follow in the footsteps of celebrities such as Nicole Richie. She opts for non-maternity empire-waist dresses, stretchy skirts and jersey tops. With today’s styles, you could easily get away with buying non-maternity tops and dresses. I would suggest, however, splurging on maternity jeans, pants and a couple of maternity shirts.

Not to do
Being a fashionable mom-to-be is easier than you think. All it requires is that you listen to your inner fashionista and avoid these top 5 fashion mistakes.

1. Forgetting your personal style: Don’t start wearing tailored maternity dresses if your pre-pregnancy wardrobe consisted of jeans and flowy tops. Find maternity clothes that are the style you love, but cut to fit your pregnant body.

2. Waiting too long to buy maternity clothes: You will be more comfortable and get more bang for your buck if you buy clothes that fit well before you start popping out of them.

3. Buying all your maternity clothes at once: It is impossible to tell exactly how your body will look at Week 28 when you are at Week 12. Buy a few pieces as your body changes, but hold off on buying everything at once (especially with maternity bras).

4. Wearing large “tent-like” dresses : Avoid the tent look through buying clothes that fit and gently hug your growing bump. Look for details like an empire-waist with a tie back or side-shirring to give your body form and style.

5. Not pampering yourself: You will feel more put together and sexy if you indulge yourself a little and get a pedicure and a fabulous haircut.

Q. I am 5’6″ and weigh 135. I have had two children with one being a c-section and I have a small “pouch” left from the surgery. I do not like the way it looks in the current clothing I have. Do you have any advice on cute tops and shorts/pants that will cover the pouch and not make me look like I am pregnant again? I wear about a size 8.
-Belly Banish

Alison: You want to look for pants and shorts that aren’t on the down low, meaning: skip low-rise styles. Jeans and pants that sit on your waist will give you a slimmer appearance. Look for bottoms that have a little Lycra to give you room to breathe while helping to slim. Check out Not Your Daughter’s Jeans, they have an endless variety that will slim your tummy. Don’t let the name throw you, these are not “mom jeans ”, these are stylish bottoms that will give you good tummy tuck control.

Don’t forget about the infinite intimate apparel options that can help flatten your tummy so you can still wear what you want on the outside. Look at choices from Spanx, Barely There and Donna Karan The Body Perfect Collection which you can find at barenecessities.com and figleaves.com . Also, check out our style recipe Underneath It All for more slimming ideas.

As for tops, empire-waisted tops can hide a tummy, but be aware that too much extra fabric can also billow out and make you look pregnant. Look for tops that have a bit of stretch again and be sure the tops are long enough to cover your stomach fully without rising up.

Q. I am getting married in six months and I have picked out a nice dress that my bridesmaids will be able to get plenty of wear out of. The problem is, one of my girls likes it so much she wants to go ahead and wear it to an event next month. I will not be able to attend, but she, her husband, and my fiance will be going. Is it tacky for me to ask her not to wear the dress until after she has worn it in my wedding? I picked this dress specifically because I thought it was classy and could be worn again, but not before the wedding! Am I being ridiculous?
-To Wait or Not To Wait

Alison: Call your girlfriend and request that she hold off on wearing the dress until your wedding day. Not only does it seem to pull away some of the initial glory from your special day, but what if the unforeseen mishap occurs like spilled wine, food stains or a ripped seam? Tell her that, while you understand the expense involved in buying the dress and your purpose was to make sure that the dress has an afterlife, you’d like it to occur after the wedding and to please respect your wishes.