ID, Meet Your Match
By Marcello (our guest guy writer)
Q: I don’t have sex EVER on the first date (ever, ever, ever!), but recently four girls I know have and now they all are dating the guy they went home with on the first date and I am still single! I find it completely perplexing….
- Tracy, 28, Seattle
Dear Tracy: I don’t profess to know what your average woman wants when heading out on a first date. But I can tell you what’s number one on a man’s agenda: have sex. So, let’s say he manages to succeed in his quest. I guarantee, the next morning, that guy’s thinking he’s some kind of sexual genius.
There’s nothing really wrong with this scenario. It seems to have worked out for your girlfriends (at least for a while). But let’s be realistic: every man has an “inner douchebag” whose lady-killing prowess is legendary. By granting him fast track access to the prize, you will have unleashed the “ID.” And for some, the ID takes over.
This is, of course, the classic reason for the “no sex on the first date” rule. The guy won’t respect you, right? Well, let’s forget about guys and our simple needs for a second…what do you want? What’s stopping you from having sex on a first date? Don’t let the presence of ID keep you from doing what you want to do. It’s your choice.
The point is, there is no (pardon the expression) hard and fast rule about this. If you have sex with him right away, acknowledge there is some ID at play and proceed accordingly. Maybe you’ve already experienced the best he’s got.
Here’s a strategy of sorts. If you’ve just met someone and there are real sparks between you, wait until the second date. If he’s elusive to meet up again, you’ll know his ID Force is strong. But if you can get together at a time that fits your both your schedules - even that short time apart should build enough distance for the two of you to be both objective and eager to recapture what you felt the first time.
Have a question of your own to ask our guy? Send it to Marcello at [email protected]
February 9th, 2011 by Ali
