Posts Tagged ‘dating advice’

Making Plans

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month – and every time we make arrangements to get together he asks me what I want to do or where we should go. Why is he asking me all the time? Call me old-fashioned, but I think a man should know what he wants to do and where to take me. Am I crazy?
- Mary, Coldwell, NJ

A: From the tone of your question, Mary, I’m wondering if he isn’t a bit intimidated. I should think that if he were the one who asked you out in the first place, he would have had an idea of what he wanted to do on the first date. Did you reject his ideas out of turn?

There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to inquire what you might like to do or eat – especially if you don’t know each other. If, however, after a few dates he continually defers to you to make the call he’s either:
a. concerned you won’t like his choices
b. a wimp
c. both

If you like him, despite his lack of creative input, take a moment to ask him about it. Tell him that you would like to hear his thoughts on the matter – and that you will agree to join him. You never know…perhaps he’s been sitting on a vast wellspring of activities – and now that you have made it clear you’re willing to hear them – a flood of exciting possibilities will be unleashed onto your calendar(s).

Have a question of your own to ask our guy? Send it to Marcello at [email protected]

Ready to Make the Big Leap?

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. What are some sure fire signs that a guy is ready to take the big leap into living together or even marriage?
- Vicky, Warren, MI

A. If you’re at the stage in a relationship where you’re regularly picking his underwear off the floor, he’s probably already living with you, which is a sure fire sign that you should start asking for rent money.

Moving on to marriage, if he brings up the subject in the positive – the guy is ready – very ready. Does he fix stuff in the house? That’s good. Does he actually remodel it? Even better. Does he voluntarily attend open houses, take you to housewares stores or consult your calendar before making plans? These are all solid gold signs of nesting behavior in the male species. You may now declare open season on marriage discussions. If, however, you observe such behavior in your boyfriend, yet he’s still reticent to talk marriage, he is either:

1. already well into the buying-you-a-ring/planning-where-he’ll-propose stage

2. already married to someone else

3. still dealing with his mommy issues

Don’t worry, it’s probably reason #1.

Go Ahead and Cut It

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. I really want to cut off my hair, but my boyfriend loves it long. Why are guys obsessed with long hair? And, how can I convince him that I’ll still look cute with a pixie do?
- Lady Godiva, Irvine, CA

A. Clearly your boyfriend is no Hemingway. Yes, the legendary man’s man was crazy for women with short hair, and he often encouraged his long-haired ladies to cut it all off. I dated several women who did the same, and they all found the change empowering. Perhaps this is what disturbs some men…when their woman shears her long locks, she sheds one of the most classic identifiers of femininity and becomes…a boy?

Nonsense. When a woman gets a pixie cut – it emphasizes her face, her eyes, her neck and even her body. Do you remember Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies? (wow!) No wonder so many women find a short cut empowering – and it sounds like you’re ready for the transformation.

I’m guessing you’ve already shown him photos of famous short-haired beauties such as Rihanna, Halle Berry, Jean Seberg (see above photo) and, of course, Louise Brooks. He’s still not convinced? Then there’s probably only one way to prove it – and that’s to go ahead and cut it. Do it. Prove him wrong and please yourself.

Dating Fate - or Dating Fear?

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. I’d like to go on more dates, but I don’t seem to be meeting anyone. While at a friend’s apartment recently I checked out guys on her internet dating site. I wrote to three guys through her connection, saying that I wasn’t her, but I would be interested in chatting. None of them responded. Another girlfriend says it’s because I’m not signed up on the site so guys can’t see my photo or learn about me. She says I should just sign up and give it a try because guys are going to think I have something against internet dating. I don’t want to sign up, but I’d like a date.
- Rachel, San Diego

A. Your girlfriend is right. Nobody’s going to respond to you unless you step forward and say, ‘here I am. This is me.’ Would you respond to a guy who wrote to you while hiding behind his buddy’s online profile?

You can continue relying on fate (no shame in that). But if you really want a date – and fate isn’t playing ball – you have to ask yourself…is what I’m doing working? It’s time to step up and try something new to get what you want. Who knows, if you dare to ask – someone’s bound to answer.

Hooray for lingerie!

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. At what point in a new relationship is it safe to take your guy lingerie shopping?
– Shy in South Carolina

A. Lingerie, you ask? YES is the answer. I know of no man who wouldn’t agree that women should wear more lingerie. And shopping for it together is a blast, believe me. It’s important to remember, however, that this trip is not like picking out new tile for the bathroom – it is an opportunity for seduction. Be prepared to try on some things that he’d like to see on you. Be adventurous. Take some risks. Definitely show him a little something while he’s there with you (although not too much, right?) And go at least halfway toward satisfying his fantasies. Here’s something that really drives us wild… wear some of the best stuff right out of the store and then tease us with a few choice glimpses on the way home. Take my advice and I promise, you will see one very happy man driving very quickly.

One last thing…before you leave the store, make sure he pays for it.

Picking Up The Check

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q: I know this may sound like a cliché, but I still get opposing opinions on it from my friends, both male and female. So, here goes… Should a man pay on the first date?
- Valerie, Boston, MA

A: Should he pay? Yes. Why should he pay? Because.