Posts Tagged ‘meeting guys’

Making Plans

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month – and every time we make arrangements to get together he asks me what I want to do or where we should go. Why is he asking me all the time? Call me old-fashioned, but I think a man should know what he wants to do and where to take me. Am I crazy?
- Mary, Coldwell, NJ

A: From the tone of your question, Mary, I’m wondering if he isn’t a bit intimidated. I should think that if he were the one who asked you out in the first place, he would have had an idea of what he wanted to do on the first date. Did you reject his ideas out of turn?

There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to inquire what you might like to do or eat – especially if you don’t know each other. If, however, after a few dates he continually defers to you to make the call he’s either:
a. concerned you won’t like his choices
b. a wimp
c. both

If you like him, despite his lack of creative input, take a moment to ask him about it. Tell him that you would like to hear his thoughts on the matter – and that you will agree to join him. You never know…perhaps he’s been sitting on a vast wellspring of activities – and now that you have made it clear you’re willing to hear them – a flood of exciting possibilities will be unleashed onto your calendar(s).

Have a question of your own to ask our guy? Send it to Marcello at [email protected]

Go Ahead and Cut It

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. I really want to cut off my hair, but my boyfriend loves it long. Why are guys obsessed with long hair? And, how can I convince him that I’ll still look cute with a pixie do?
- Lady Godiva, Irvine, CA

A. Clearly your boyfriend is no Hemingway. Yes, the legendary man’s man was crazy for women with short hair, and he often encouraged his long-haired ladies to cut it all off. I dated several women who did the same, and they all found the change empowering. Perhaps this is what disturbs some men…when their woman shears her long locks, she sheds one of the most classic identifiers of femininity and becomes…a boy?

Nonsense. When a woman gets a pixie cut – it emphasizes her face, her eyes, her neck and even her body. Do you remember Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies? (wow!) No wonder so many women find a short cut empowering – and it sounds like you’re ready for the transformation.

I’m guessing you’ve already shown him photos of famous short-haired beauties such as Rihanna, Halle Berry, Jean Seberg (see above photo) and, of course, Louise Brooks. He’s still not convinced? Then there’s probably only one way to prove it – and that’s to go ahead and cut it. Do it. Prove him wrong and please yourself.

From the Poor House to the Pour House

by Marcello (our guest guy writer)

Q. So I’d love to date more often, but I work from home and don’t make a lot of money. I have to be frugal so going out several times a week to bars is not an option for meeting guys. Any suggestions?
- Victoria, New York City

A. Don’t make frugality a reason to stay home. You have to make yourself available. The good news is that you a lot of options and they’re not all bars. Bars are fine when you want to hang with your friends. But for meeting new people – with all the distractions, noise and competition – not so much. And remember, where there is alcohol there are beer goggles.

Real connections develop through shared interests and activities. Join a club. Take a class. Go to a few parties (even when you don’t want to go out). While you work from home, is there an option to go to an office every now and then, if only to reach out and touch other living beings? The point is to make the effort to get out of your habitual comfort zone, i.e. your home/office cave and prove to the world – and to yourself – that you exist.

All of these options, by the way, cost little money and can only benefit you whether you meet someone or not. Save your bar tab cash to spend on a hot dress or new haircut. When you do go out for drinks, he’ll be paying.